"Tender Mercies" During Times of Trial

"...the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ."
--Elder David A. Bednar

The loss of my son is by far the greatest trial I have faced here in mortality. The lonliness, the pain, and the tears are difficult to leave behind. Most individuals, during a time of trial, often ask "why?" I cannot bring myself to ask this question simply because of the tender mercies the Lord has bestowed upon me. I'll explain with my story of Ethan's delivery.

The night before I went into labor, I asked my husband to give me a priesthood blessing. My reasons for the blessing were unrelated to the son we were about to have. However, in the blessing I was told how pleased my Heavenly Father was with my decision to become a mother and that I would be a great example of service for my children to follow. On November 13, 2008 I began to feel some aching in my back and I would get an occasional sharp pain in my abdomen. The back pain was "normal" I had felt it throughout my pregnancy. The stomach pains came and went for a while. Soon my husband returned home from work. I wasn't sure what to do, but my husband decided that he would get our neighbor, a nurse. Our neighbor asked me a couple of questions, and with a phone call to the doctor she worked with it was determined that I should go to labor and delivery. Once I was checked in a nurse examined me to discover that I was fully dilated - there was no stopping him. While we waited for the pediatrician to arrive, the on-call OBGYN asked my husband if he would like assistance in giving me a blessing. The blessing was short and simply stated "know that what happens is God's will". The pediatrician arrived and immediately my son was delivered. After 25 minutes of trying to stabilize my son's breathing, the pediatrician handed me my son. I had another 20 minutes to hold my son before he returned to his Heavenly Father. I was released from the hospital just after midnight.

The following morning I received a letter in the mail from my four-year-old niece. Note that she had written this letter several days before Ethan's birth. The letter contained a picture of me and my husband with a baby in my belly. Under the picture she wrote "it's a boy". There was a second when I wanted to cry, but then I realized that Ethan's birth should still be celebrated as it was truly a miracle.

My Ethan's timing was perfect. I realize that Heavenly Father allowed him to develop just enough that he could claim his body. If he had waited to come just one more week his survival rate would have been much greater. If he came a day earlier he may not of lived at all. Ethan came to us on a Thursday evening. My husband was able to take me to the hospital, and only missed two days of work because the weekend was near. The following months I was to be surrounded by my family members as they had previously arranged their holiday vacations.

Over the last three months I have come to realize that Heavenly Father will not give us a trial without bestowing upon us his tender mercies. However, it is up to us to recognize these blessings. The priesthood blessings, the neighbor, the on-call doctor, the pediatrician, the timing of events, and the sweet letter from my niece are just some of the tender mercies I have received during this my greatest trial. Our Heavenly Father does love us - I know it now more than ever!